For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
Life is busy. I believe that Ferris Bueller said something about slowing down and paying attention, or else you might miss it. I’ve found this idea has been weighing on my heart over the last few weeks. When I find myself overwhelmed and looking at my to-do list, a quiet voice whispers in the back on my mind, “slow down…what’s most important?” When I really step back and look at my day-to-day life, am I focused on what’s most important in the long run or on what “needs” to be done?
Sadly, I focus more on the list of things that need to be done than on the great plans that have been made for my life.
This conflict has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. Tomorrow, my little boy will be three years old. He’s grown and changed so much. He’s really into spending time with Mommy when I have him. He wants me to play cars, lay down and watch movies with him, and read books. More often than I’d like, I find myself telling him, “Mommy’s working right now.” Sometimes that’s enough. But now, he tells me, “You’re not working, Mommy. Let’s play cars.” Or, even more heartbreaking, “I want to work too, Mommy. I can help.”
I have been entrusted with a life. God sent me this little angel baby. And the best part of being a mom is making those spontaneous memories with him. The hugs and the kisses and the cuddles. And when he looks and me and says, “Mommy, you’re pretty,” my heart melts.
That’s what my life is supposed to be all about. Not about jobs and money and success and security. God will take care of me, as long as I live with a happy heart. As long as I do everything I do to His glory.
I’m still going to work two jobs, and coach volleyball, and have household responsibilities. I’m still going to be busy with grading and planning and reading and laundry and errands. But I’m not going to allow myself to be overwhelmed and stressed anymore. I’m going to trust that He will provide and that everything will get done in the time that it is supposed to. I’ve been given such opportunities just when I needed them. And instead of seeing them as burdens, I need to see them as blessings.
I’m just going to do the best I can every day, and do it to the glory of the One who made me. I don’t want to miss life; I want to enjoy the plans He’s made for me.
And I’m not going to miss out on time with my little monkey man. He’s already three. Soon he’ll be off to school and growing up and going off to college. I won’t remember the grading or planning. But I’ll remember kisses and cuddles and playing with the most amazing little boy I’ll ever know. I’ll remember the soft sound of his snoring. I’ll remember his beautiful little boy voice telling me “I love you.”
I can’t believe the last three years have gone by so quickly. I can’t believe my little man is so grown up, so smart, so fun. Happy birthday, Aidan. Mommy loves you.